Things to do.

I don't know about you, but I can be a terrible procrastinator.
Though at the moment I feel I'm procrastinating because I'm feeling a little overwhelmed with the amount of things I need to do/get done.

We have a lot of baby things to sell on.
And whilst it's not a hard thing to do, it's a tedious thing to do, so I just keep putting it off.

Today I MUST get a custom piece finished and listed. So what am I doing here then?? you might ask. Procrastinating. Hey if I'm going to do something, might as well do it right!

The custom piece I'm working on is a flying owl - a piece like the one I recently posted here and sold - except it's with a different shaped stone.

I (thought I had) decided a while back that I wasn't going to accept custom work, as I find it stressful. And this piece has reiterated why I don't want to do them. Please do not get me wrong here, I am so very grateful for the chance to make something special for someone. But the stress it gives me takes away from my joy of creating. Those of you who make things with your hands will most likely relate to this at some time or another.

When I'm making something large and with much detail, it takes time. However, I can take as much time to do it as I want. There is no deadline. Hence no pressure and no stress (generally if all is going well). The minute there is a custom piece (more so when it is a replica of something previously sold) to do, the pressure is on. There is a deadline and there is also even more pressure to have it look just like the original. Then I become super critical of my work, my ability to even make the piece again starts to wane. Things will not 'flow' properly and mistakes are on the horizon. The pressure of getting it to look just like the original is even more deterring for me - as clearly the customer fell in love with the original and will most likely be expecting it to be almost identical. Really I should probably explain in my policies that this isn't always possible.... note to self ....

My other half says it helps me to push myself. I do agree, partially.
But on the other hand, it seems to push me away from my bench even more. 

Anyway, that is enough procrastination for now. I have to go to the bench and get the Owl finished as I've pretty much hit the deadline. Here's hoping there's 'flow' and no ebbs and I will post a picture of the finished piece once sent off.

Em ♥

Muse

For once my creative muse is visiting.

I'm hoping this isn't a fleeting visit, that she will actually find a comfy seat and settle in for a while.

I think though I am filled with a new batch of ideas, I'm a little overwhelmed. I'm working on one of the largest pieces I have made (it really isn't that large, but for me it is) and of course, even though instinct told me to anchor things down, I didn't. And so now the bezel has soldered on slightly askew.

The perfectionist within says 'sorry, but you are just going to have to make it right, it's not good enough. Fix. It.' Though I worry if I do go in again and try to realign it, I might just ruin it altogether. I hate that part about soldering. I have some Yellow Ochre powder which I might have to slather all over the parts I can't have reflowing. Hoping with all hope that I can fix it, or it is going to be a very expensive scrap piece :(

Below are the latest things I have finished:

My favourite things to make would be the pendants you see above. I've always loved pieces with some weight to them and these all have just that. And the piece I am working on right now is even heavier, so I must make it work!!

Well that pendant isn't going to be fixed with me sitting here now is it?! Must get on with it :)

Have a wonderful day
Em ♥

Give It Up.

That's what I'm thinking of. Right now. Giving up. 

Nothing is working out for me. Why does that happen? Right when I have lovely ideas I want to bring to life.

Solder won't flow.

Solder flows to wrong areas, or where it just shouldn't be ... At. All.

I feel like I'm lost. 

Feel so inexperienced and out of my depth.

Like I should be able to do more than I am.

Feel so left behind.

Doubt is really seeping it's way in. 

I don't want to walk away for a while.

I want to stay and make the things I've already made in my head.

I wish I had the knowledge and experience to do what I want to do.

It's available for me to get it, but time, money and other factors are holding me back.

For now.

So I have to make do with what I can do.

Which right now, doesn't feel like very much.

Doesn't feel like enough.

I want to have fun.

It's meant to be fun right???

Signed - Miserable.